Yesterday, a driver who looked like a retired mob boss (name: “Bill Brown”) picked me up in a black car and drove me to Kim Zolciak’s house to drink and have breakfast for dinner with her and a handful of other media folks. Is this real life?
The most famed Bravo hair housewife (in my opinion) was hosting a meal on behalf of Mama Walker’s, a line of breakfast-inspired liqueurs:
Because it’s always awkward when you try to pour maple syrup into your vodka at brunch.
We were greeted with a maple bacon mimosa (nothing like bubbly with a bacon finish), and AJC reporter Jennifer Brett and I took a selfie. Or as she cleverly coined it given our situation…a #zelfie.
After downing that glass in three seconds minutes flat, I spent some time admiring the house and eating hors d’oeuvres. Both the decor and the staff were lovely.
I hit the bathroom and figured it was high time for the rare Kim Zolciak Bathroom Zelfie, which she has been crushing lately with her post-six-children body (I mean, what?).
Then, Kim was not (that) tardy to her own party and entered in a hot pink Victoria Beckham dress with curves for days and the most bombshell blonde wig I’ve ever seen in my life. I think my own hair cried tears of inadequacy.
We sat down for a “dinner” of fried chicken and waffles, biscuits, French toast, shrimp and grits, donuts, quiche, fruit, and more, plus all the booze, including the blueberry Mamasjito (correct spelling) in a Mason jar and coffee with a shot of glazed donut Mama Walker’s (ie. my new favorite breakfast). Obviously all gluten- and calorie-free.
I assume Kim doesn’t eat like this every day to have lost that baby weight and maintain her figure, but she did say she loves carbs and that “salads taste like paper,” so homegirl has figured something out (don’t worry; I asked her later). She was extremely relaxed, down-to-Earth, and open about her family and career to a room of (mostly) strangers. My favorite tidbit: Her husband Kroy and she bathe the kids and get them ready for bed every night starting at 7:15, and if a camera crew is around and needs to film, “they can wait or go home.” BOOM. Speaking of Kroy, he made a kitchen cameo (and was very nice), and Sweetie was there the entire evening, keeping an eye on Kim’s plate (she admitted to yanking a cookie out of her boss’s hand just days earlier).
We wrapped up the meal with shots…
…and I got some one-on-one time with Kim to ask her my burning questions.
Her must-have beauty products: Obagi skincare and La Prarie Platinum (“this freaking expensive ass night cream that everyone gets on me about, but I swear by it”).
When she doesn’t have time to put on her full face: “Mascara, lip gloss, and pink cheeks.” (PS, we did talk eyelash extensions and she wants to get some like mine.)
How she maintains her figure: “I definitely eat. But I don’t sit on the couch. I’m always running around. [With food], I tend to pick throughout the day. It also has to do with genetics, and keeping up with two toddlers, a 17-year-old I’m always chasing down, and feeding twins every two and a half hours.” (Please note having six kids isn’t a diet plan for everyone, so proceed with caution.)
On making time for romance with six kids: “We just try to find time whenever we can–in the morning, afternoon, at night, 3 o’clock in the morning.” (Get it, girl.)
And then we got to talking about her love story…and asses. Listen here
I’d say we’re besties zesties now.
Thank you, Mama.
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Top/featured photo by Moses Robinson, Getty Images for Mama Walker’s breakfast inspired liqueurs.