How to Prevent Swamp Ass [and Boob Sweat!]

Whew. This weekend was a scorcher. And it’s only going to get hotter.

Which, as you ladies know, means two things: boob sweat and swamp ass.

I don’t consider myself an excessively sweaty person, but when it’s 90+ degrees and you’re tailgating before a baseball game, sitting on a patio, or day-drinking at a festival, you are a prime candidate for a damp situation under your bosom and/or booty.

Even in a lightweight dress, you’re hesitant to get up during happy hour on a patio because of your rear view. Or is that just me because I sit and drink margaritas for four hours? Anyway…

Here are some of my tips and tricks for minimizing moisture.

CLOTHING

I live for wife beaters, excuse me, ribbed tanks in the summer, but prominent perspiration often comes with the territory.

So for our Braves tailgate on Friday, I wore my absolute fave shirt of the season so far–a light, billowy tank from Urban Outfitters ($40) that’s shorter in the front (also super cute with jeans and heels for a night out).

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Clearly I’m saying, “See? No boob sweat here!”

Urban has lots of tanks in this airy style, and I’m also loving Alternative Apparel’s watercolor Luzon tank and striped pocket Zion tank, both super chic, lightweight, and a tad shorter in the front.

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Voila! You’re foxy, stylish, and most importantly, won’t be trickling under your ta-tas.

LOTION

I had to learn this the hard way. I moisturize daily (a must for keeping a tan), but when you mix lotion and warm temps, you have a slick, sweaty mess on your hands. So I recommend only slathering your arms, chest, and below-the-knees if you’re going out in public in the heat. You can lube up the rest when you get home/before bed or on days when you’re laying low. If nothing else, just keep the moisturizer away from your booty and back of your thighs before you head out or your friends may start calling you “Swamp Thing” (if they haven’t already).

UNDERWEAR

Unless you have an aversion to bras and panties (which is totally fine by me), you may as well invest in a few pieces for those unavoidable sizzling days.

Amoena Mia is the world’s first lingerie line with temperature equalizing technology for your comfort to help you finally prevent swamp ass.

In other words: the anti boob sweat bra. I’m going to be honest with you guys: I haven’t worn one. But per my research, they are revolutionary and truly work. So I’m just going to have to get one, put on two fleeces, and run around town in the middle of the July to test it. Stay tuned.

I AM, however, a first-hand believer in Under Armour’s NEW heatgear underwear with moisture wicking. These hipsters are so comfy and you gotta’ love that sexy, boyish waistband.

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They must have used my body double for that ad. Weird.

The boy shorts provide even more coverage (read: less swamp), and are perfect to wear under a dress. Plus, they combat chafing (just in case that’s a concern).

If you can prevent some perspiration with a few small changes to your wardrobe and beauty routine, summer will be a whole lot easier. I mean, how can you flirt with a cute guy/try to seduce your man knowing sweat is dripping down your back?

You’re too cool for swamp ass and boob sweat. (At least, let’s hope so.)