The One Huge Flaw in Matchbox Twenty’s Song About Mean Girls

It’s 3 a.m. and I must be lonely hearing things because that sounds like a new Matchbox Twenty song on the radio.

I kid. They are actually back (didn’t see that one coming) and have a new single that I’m digging—“She’s So Mean.” I like it because I believe most of us ladies have a little mean girl in us. And if you had it in high school and/or college, a streak definitely remains (don’t fight it).

Here are some of the lyrics:

I know a girl
,
She gets what she wants all the time
,
‘Cause she’s fine
.
But for an angel, she’s a hot, hot mess
,
Make you so blind,
But you don’t mind.
‘Cause she’s an uptown, get-around, anything-goes girl
.
She’s a hardcore, candy-store, give-me-some-more girl.

She’ll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends,
She likes to stay late at the party cause the fun never ends,
And all her clothes are on the floor, and all your records are scratched,
She’s like a one-way ticket ’cause you can’t come back.

Fun, catchy, somewhat relatable (at some point in your life), right? So I was listening in the car yesterday and singing along when I heard this lyric and almost ran off the road:

She drinks Bacardi in the morning ’til it goes to her head.

I mean…did I hear that correctly?

Yes. I did.

First of all, I drank Bacardi in high school. That’s not to say I haven’t had it since (I had my fair share in college, too) and will throw back a few at a sponsored event, but come on, Rob Thomas. Not many respectable, classy women over the age of 22 are going around ordering that stuff. You said it yourself: “Let’s see how far we’ve come.” So take a look.

Secondly, it’s not a breakfast drink. What girl has ever woken up and said, “You know what I could really go for? A nice glass of Bacardi and Diet.” Sure, it’s acceptable in a rum punch or pina colada at the beach/pool around noon, but us gals drink Bloody Marys, mimosas (read: champagne with a splash of OJ), or some other brunchy concoction usually made with vodka in the a.m.

punch-bowl-5069801

Which brings me to vodka. Girls with any sort of edge and/or mean streak drink vodka. They just do. Please see: Chelsea Handler. Matchbox Twenty could have inserted Grey Goose, Ketel, or even Stoli into that lyric and it would have worked perfectly. And while it may have been a stretch for a non-country song, I would have been fine with Jim Beam or Jack Daniels (although if you drink that in the morning, you might be an alcoholic).

I hate to be mean (no I don’t), but maybe those femme fatales were walking all over Rob because he doesn’t know how to order them a cocktail.

And now, back to my vodka.

Cheers (and LYLAS)!
Ashley