Are you looking for love in all the wrong places? Sick of the bar scene? Tired of going to clubs every single weekend and having drunk dudes/chicks slobber and grind on you then going home alone? Have you poked all of your friends of the opposite sex on Facebook with no response? Literally scrolled through every single person on Tinder? Never once gotten a boob pic or dicture on Snapchat?Does your fashion sense need a little dusting off? Are you looking for new style ideas to upgrade your pathetic wardrobe and give you a fighting chance with the opposite sex? Ladies, are you still shopping at Wet Seal and Bakers Shoes? Fellas, still wearing cargo pants and big white New Balances? Gross.
Want to know what drives girls and guys crazy? Where you can find cutting-edge fashion and some of the most attractive, social-media savvy singles in the country? Well, we went in search of that magical place and found it in Gwinnett County, Georgia at Repticon 2014 (that’s reptile convention for you geniuses). Here is our EXCLUSIVE news report, and we can assure that most of the fine folks in the video are single if anyone strikes your fancy.
Unfortunately, we did not find our soulmates because we weren’t dressed up enough (and/or are total idiots). Wish us luck at the cat show in Cumming, GA on March 8-9. If Tom can’t find pussy there, Lord help him.
LYLAS,
Hess + Tom
PS, if you want to see how we spent the car ride home from East Bumblefuck and/or love One Direction, click HERE.
