It’s a holiday weekend, so you know what that means: People are taking vacations and stopping at nothing to make sure you know what an amazing time they’re having via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Friendster.
I’ll admit–I’m a culprit of posting enviable pics, but I try not to be a douche about it. Here are five ways you can share your updates with dignity (and maybe even some humor). And if these don’t apply to you, maybe you want to casually forward to that obnoxious co-worker…
1. You WANT to post:
Instead, post: Nothing. If you still want a job to go back to.
2. You WANT to post:
First of all, checking in the *Delta Sky Club is douche-tastic as it is. We get it–you’re a baller (or think you are). Second of all, if you must let everyone know you’re at the airport, find a checkin with some humor like this ATL gem:

3. You WANT to post:
Something to let the world know how AMAZING your life is and end it with #Blessed, #Gratitude, #LifeIsGood, #LivingTheDream, etc.
BARF.
If you must #hashtag about how happy you are on vacay (I know I will), try sarcasm with a #ThisPlaceSucks above a gorgeous picture (much more effective) or be open and honest with something like #TequilaIsMySoulmate.

4. You WANT to post:
“Got my toes in the water, ass in the sand.”
LAME. And like, get a beach chair.
Try something cooler and more classic like “Wasting away again in Margaritaville,” or do it in jest with “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22.”
OR you want to post:
“I’m on a boat!” and a mention of your “flippy-floppies.”
That’s so 2000-and-late.
Go more obscure with “Boats and hoes.” Extra points if you mention the Catalina Wine Mixer.
5. You WANT to post:
We’ve all done it, but social media is going to be so overloaded with #delish food pics while people are vacay bingeing, it’s better to go this late-night route:

And one more for good measure….
You WANT to post: An elusive photo of you and a random dude you met at the bar to make your crush jealous.

Actually, you should definitely do that.
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, everyone! Feel free to follow me on Instagram and call me out if you see any of these type of posts. And if you see any extra douchey posts, send ’em my way.
LYLAS,
Ashley
*Ok, so maybe I’m just jealous I can’t get in the Sky Club.