First of all, to anyone who says “leggings aren’t pants,” you can stop reading right now and go F yourself. Sorry that was harsh, but those a-holes deserve it. We all know TIGHTS are not pants (which your mama should have learned ya’ by age 6), but leggings are a beautiful thing–they’re comfortable, versatile, HAVE … Read more
Memorial Day Weekend/Adult Spring Break 2K12 was a perfect three days of beaching, boating, dancing, drinking, costuming, and popping bottles of white zin at Applebee’s (hey, when in Rome Florida). But when some photos of me surfaced on the Web post-vacation, I realized one thing had been less than perfect. Apparently, I thought it was Spring … Read more
Congrats China. You just won the cute dog trophy until the end of time. Introducing the Panda Puppy! That’s right. These are chows who have undergone extensive dyeing and grooming to resemble a DAMN PANDA BEAR. China’s middle class is in total pandamonium over these, as more people are getting canines as companions instead of dinner. All … Read more
Remember that time your carry-on bag got checked at the airport and the security guy pulled out your vibrator and made you turn it on? Oh wait. That was me. But it’s precisely the reason why us gals could really use a pleasure piece that won’t get us into awkward situations. You know, something you … Read more
Have you ever put regular ol’ ice cubes in your drink and thought, “Ugh, #SNOOZEFEST,” or “These ice cubes are more bland and boring than my ex-boyfriend”? No? Me either. (Although I think we all have a lame ex we just thought of.) But still…why not make something more exciting (and tastier) when you can? … Read more
Whew. This weekend was a scorcher. And it’s only going to get hotter. Which, as you ladies know, means two things: boob sweat and swamp ass. I don’t consider myself an excessively sweaty person, but when it’s 90+ degrees and you’re tailgating before a baseball game, sitting on a patio, or day-drinking at a festival, … Read more
If you’ve been to a music festival/outdoor concert recently, you have 100% been exposed to the trend/epidemic sweeping the female nation: High-waisted jorts. Girls of all ages, body types, booty types, and textual orientations have been rocking these denim doozies with crop tops, fake flower crowns, and leather boots in 3,000-degree weather because fashion. At … Read more
Hello, cyber friends. I would like to address something that is causing me great anxiety and has become the bastard child of social media. Now don’t get me right, I love social media. Twitters, The Facebook, Instantgrams, Youporn–they are all amazing and consume just about 90% of my waking hours. However, with the good comes the … Read more