The basic bitch is so 2014 (seriously Internet, stop with the listicles) but the basic bro lives on! He is confident, he is #blessed, he is fit (or at least embraces his #DadBod), he is handsome (enough), and most of all, he is social media savvy! The basic bro knows Valencia isn’t just a city in Spain (in fact, he might not even know it IS a city in Spain)!
As you may know, the Instagram account @BrosBeingBasic was created in November 2014 (inspired by this), so 2015 was an ENTIRE YEAR of beautiful basicness on the ‘gram from #NewYearNewMe resolutions to sippin’ #brosé to a slew of summer #NipSlips to so many #HappyHolibaes pics. And not to mention approximately 923749827489724987239347 hashtags (give or take). Without further ado, here are the best of the basic bros, month by month, to recap a wonderful year and prepare us for the next one.
JANUARY
Because literally what else is there to look forward to besides the new season of The Bachelor? Nothing. The answer is nothing.
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FEBRUARY
Don’t have a Valentine? NBD. It’s the perfect time to cover yourself in rose petals in your bathtub and show potential suitors what they could have had. Hot…and humble.
*RIP Trevso*
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MARCH
Newsflash: It’s officially time to start thinking about your beach body (DON’T SHOOT THE MESSENGER). If you were in college, you’d literally be going on spring break THIS MONTH so get your shit together. And by shit, I obviously mean “candid” workout pics because you’re a “fitness model”, duh.
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APRIL
April annoying AF showers bring May flowers so embrace the rain, betches. For no other reasons than cute umbrellas and HUNTER BOOTS omg.
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MAY
#CincoDeMaybro or #CincbroDeMayo or #CincbroDeMaybro? Who cares, let’s get tequila drunk and go home with strangers lol.
But more importantly….#Brosé season!!! There will be no drinking red or white (ONLY PINK) until September at the earliest.
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JUNE
IT’S OFFICIALLY WEDDING SEASON, BETCHES!!! All those couples who got engaged before football season are COMING IN HOT. And if you’re lucky, all those 239492847983279472349 couples who got engaged over Christmas have somehow managed to plan an extravagant wedding in 6 months so call American Express because you’re gonna’ need to increase your spending limit.
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JULY
You can be as naked as you want as long as there’s an American flag involved because patriotism.
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AUGUST
Saying goodbye to summer (and slutty beach pics) is such sweet sorrow.
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SEPTEMBER
But wait…..cure those post-summer blues with FALL FASHION ON FLEEK! Uggs and leggings and overpriced Lululemon hoodies OH MY!
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OCTOBER
Studies have shown pumpkin carving is the #1 fall activity posted on all of social media…
Also, costumes…
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NOVEMBER
#ThankfulAndBlessed, #BlessedAndThankful, no matter how you express your #gratitude on #Thanksgiving, make sure to upload a food pic because no one else is eating the exact same thing as you.
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DECEMBER
What a month for puns of fun! Basic bros love the #HolibaeSeason more than anything else.
Because PRESENTS.
Here’s to another #blessedAF year, y’all!
LYLAS,
Ashley