Lately, a lot of people have been rubbing up on me.
Not like that. Unfortunately.
I mean that they’ve grazed my arm with a friendly hug/pat/what-have-you and then proceeded to literally stroke me and comment on how soft my skin is until one of us starts feeling uncomfortable. Now, before you get all “Ohmygod Ashley, get over yourself,” I’m going to tell you that while, yes, I have always had a pretty silky epidermis, there’s one recent trick that has catapulted me into velvet touch territory and I’m going to share it with you. Duh.
Coconut oil.
And I’m talking about the straight up jar that you’ll find in Whole Foods alongside other cooking products. I prefer Spectrum organic unrefined, which is $10-$12 for 14 ounces. But before you go buy a jar and start smearing it all over your bod, heed my advice for incorporating this natural miracle into your beauty regime.
1. Mix it with your daily lotion. I have been using Banana Boat Aftersun for the last decade, so I take a few pumps and mix it with equal parts coconut oil in my palms, then lather up. The oil’s moisturizing properties also help preserve your tan, so if you’re using an aloe lotion, you’ll keep that beautiful bronze doubly long. (Keep in mind that coconut oil, like any oil, attracts the sun, so tan responsibly.)
2. It’s oil (duh) and it’s going to take a few minutes to fully soak into your skin. If you need to head out right away, lather more lightly. If you have an hour or so before getting clothed and hitting the streets, then lube up, lady. Also, if you have shoulder length or longer hair, I recommend blow drying and styling your hair before you oil up your chest, back, and shoulders/arms, then pinning your mane up whilst doing your coconutting so you don’t get oily ends (unless your ends are so dry they could use it).
3. I put straight coconut oil on my face and it’s the best remedy I’ve ever used. Moisturize your mug before bed and you’ll awake with glowing, super-soft skin, especially around the eye area (Where did those bags go?!). However, I have extremely dry skin, so if you’re oily, this may not be a smart move. Sorry.
4. The oil is very temperature sensitive. My jar has changed from pure liquid to solid to chunky (ew) and back again depending on the temp in my apartment. Don’t worry; it doesn’t matter what consistency it is and/or how many times it has morphed. (Did you picture Jacob from Twilight turning into a werewolf at the mention of the word “morph” or was that just me?)
5. Speaking of, dogs will eat/drink coconut oil right up. F’ing Dewey ate two full jars of it (I know, call me a bad mom) before I began keeping it on the top shelf of my shower, and he still comes sniffing around trying to get a tropical snack whenever I break it out.
On that note—you’re going to smell faintly of the beach after lotioning with coconut which can only complement Your New Lucky Perfume, Lollia Wish, and escalate its magical man-attracting and daydream-inducing powers.
Okay, now who’s ready for a vacay?