The Fault in Our Stars: A Review + Cry Selfie (No Spoilers)

I went into The Fault in Our Stars like most girls go into their period week: You know you’ll get emotional, you know you’re going to cry, you know you’ll need some M&Ms, and you know it will be over soon enough.

I will admit it was the most I’ve ever cried in a movie, even more than Million Dollar Baby senior year of college when my two BFFs seriously had to lean over and whisper, “You need to get a hold of yourself.” I held it together (somewhat) last night because I’m an adult now (ish), but had I been watching this movie at home alone, I would have probably been sprawled out on the floor Kim K ugly crying:

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Or Claire Danes ugly crying…

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(PS, when the F*CK is Homeland coming back on?)

Anyway. I think everyone should see this movie. It’s a beautiful story with unexpected twists and turns and fantastic character development. Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort are perfect actors for their roles, but I also loved Laura Dern as Hazel’s mother and charismatic cutie Nat Wolff as Gus’s best friend. I will say that I adored the shy, modest Hazel, but it bothered me at the beginning that she wasn’t a little more dynamic character (more “take life by the balls” rather than “watch reality TV and be depressed”), but then again, I imagine that’s easier said than done with stage 4 cancer and having to haul around an oxygen tank everywhere. Also…..it’s fiction.

And I was a little confused about her haircut. There are so many fab ways to do short hair (see: Jennifer Lawrence, Cameron Diaz), but I couldn’t wrap my head about the JTT butt cut she had going on (go ahead, CALL ME A BITCH).

As for reading/not reading in advance, I went with three friends who’d read the book, and they all really enjoyed the movie. I, however, have not read the book (I know, I’m sorry and I’m embarrassed), and started to have regrets about it before the show. And while I usually would recommend reading a book before the movie, I think it was OKAY (wink wink) in this instance, if only because I got to release enough tears to hold me over from crying well into 2017. So if you really want the waterworks in a public place (and don’t know how the book ends), see the movie first. And bring tissues because I forgot them and literally could not breathe and had to attempt to blow my nose on the tiny square of soiled beverage napkin under my coffee (with Bailey’s, duh). But I digress.

And I’d still like to read the book because (not sure if you guys knew this because I just found out)…it has 20 THOUSAND REVIEWS AND A PERFECT FIVE STARS on Amazon. That’s some crazy shit, y’all. For the record, “The Great Gatsby” has 4,400 reviews and 4 stars and “Fifty Shades of Grey” has 24,700+ reviews and 3.5 stars (which is generous given the horrendous writing).

And just in case you’re in the same frame of mind about The Fault In Our Stars as my bestie Kate…
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…you’re wrong (and I think she meant rom-com, which it is not).

And I’m sure you’re surprised I didn’t like Marley & Me considering I’m obsessed with my dog. I’ll save that explanation for another day.

Lastly, if you have plans after seeing this movie…bring eyedrops and your makeup bag.
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Okay,
Ashley

*Have you seen the movie? Let me know what you thought in the comments!