Can We Chill With the Inspirational Quotes Already?

Look I get it; inspirational quotes are meant to inspire.

For example: You are having the worst day ever. You just got dumped/divorced, lost your job, your dog died, and you found out you have herpes.

Then you get on Facebook, see a quote about keeping your head up through the rain while you work hard because money never sleeps and take the road less traveled so you can dance like no one is watching because tomorrow is new day…

And it LITERALLY CHANGES YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. You immediately shower, comb your pubes, put on business attire, go land your dream job (because let’s be honest; your old job sucked anyway), find your soulmate on Tinder, revive your dog (he was just sleeping!), and find out you actually only have chlamydia (which is curable with antibiotics, yay!).

THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED.

Listen, there are a fuck-ton of incredible quotes out there from philosophers like Confucius, Aristotle, and Carrie Bradshaw, and when one speaks to you, I say share it with the world Internet. I love a good, funny/clever, properly credited quote on an aesthetically appealing background or image and have no problem posting them. But people need to pump the brakes with their excessive over-posting; stop stealing quotes from other people, putting them through a design app, and passing them off as their own; and get out and do something rather than posting about working hard and playing hard on social media 18,000 times a day.

Here are some of the worst offenses.

1. Marilyn Monroe quotes (most of which aren’t even things she ever said).
Sweet Jesus of Nazareth, these are the absolute worst. I am in disbelief that any female over the age of 16 still posts these BUT THEY DO. img_1154-7352999
Hey girl. Admitting you’re selfish, insecure, and out-of-control is literally the last thing you should advertise if you ever want to make a friend or land a man. Those are not admirable qualities and Marilyn Monroe is not a positive role model unless you’ve always aspired to be a drug addict and sleep with married men. But you do you, girl.

Thank you to Unspirational (the best Instagram on the ‘net) for this:
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2. Dumb celebs.

I just discovered Rumer Willis’ Instagram and when she’s not posting pictures of herself and reiterating how much she loves said pictures of herself, she’s posting idiotic quotes and hashtagging #exactly, proving that she is a woman of few thoughts, but undeniable depth.

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Nice burn, @dmatillo.
And this gem:

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So powerful.

And a note to that last commenter…
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3. Rapid fire overload.

This was all within about an hour last Sunday for supermodel Cara Delevingne as she must have been bored on a private jet or something.

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I mean, some are cute, but I didn’t need to see them every five seconds while I was trying to look at baby animals and #TinderFails. I unfollowed her (I’m sure she noticed).

4. The quote selfie.Math lesson: Two wrongs don’t make a right.
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Even better when the quote is about about traveling the world, but you took the selfie in your bathroom mirror. And for the record, filling your suitcase with treasures is going to stick you with an overweight baggage fee.

And of course…..


5. The MISSPELLED quote.

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First of all, that doesn’t make any sense.

Second of all…
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Wait, here’s an idea! Why don’t you make up your own quote every once in a while?

I pulled some from my Facebook friends who do just that:

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Listen, I’m not totally shitting on quote posting and if something truly inspires you, it doesn’t matter what it is (no matter how cheesy). But think before you post something #basic or false (Marilyn Monroe never said “avoid the drama”, btw), take something and pass it off as your own even though you know the originator, or God forbid, be a Rumer Willis. And hey, if you love quotes so much…

img_1307-4007430 LYLAS,

Ashley

For more original quotes (and snarkcasm), follow on Instagram @AshHess!