It’s totally acceptable if…

1. You get legitimately pissed off (like, could slap a stranger on the street) and consider marching right back into the nail salon when your gel nail chips after one week. Uh…hello, gel nails! You’re going to give us all HAND CANCER; the LEAST you can do is not chip for 14 days or more. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

2. You’re a bitch to an ex dude when he tries to hook up late night.

And then you laugh like this.

3. You have to leave a party early because you get an adult tummy-ache from eating too many sweets. When you tell your friend, “We have to leave, like, now,” she’s all, “Whaa? We just got here!” Then you’re forced to tell her the truth, because if not, she’ll think you have diarrhea or just want to go hook up with your ex.

4. You roll down the windows, blare Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe,” and sing at the top of your lungs. At a red light. In traffic. And do the awkward, white girl, upper body dance.

5. You think it’s completely insane ridiculous that people are actually calling Brad and Angelina “America’s Royal Couple.”

We all know that’s Beyonce and Jay-Z.

Have a great weekend, everyone! Do some things you’re proud of! LYLAS,

Ash

The post Five Things That Are Totally Acceptable appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

She made this turquoise beauty for me and I basically didn’t take it off for a month (except to work out and shower). Even though it’s so bold, it goes with everything and magically completes every outfit!
Even next to a horse’s ass, its beauty still shines through!
(Just another night on the Atlanta bar scene.)

I loved the necklace so much, Lisa named it after me: The Turquoise Hess (contact them for pricing).

I’m also obsessed with this spiked stunner, which I like to call The Bad Date Necklace. If you have a first and/or blind date and aren’t sure how it’s going to pan out, wear this to ensure he gets nowhere close to making out with you and your neck area. If you do want to play tonsil hockey, just casually remove it and give him a wink (he’ll get the point).

I can’t sing enough praises about L George Designs. She is seriously blowing up in the accessory world and I think every gal should own one of her pieces (celeb secret: Beyonce’s bass player owns a necklace and is obsessed).

Atlanta friends, you can come check out the collection THIS Wednesday with a special trunk show at The Spa at the Four Seasons (we gettin’ fancy, y’all!) from 7-9 p.m. There will be free champagne and snacks (magic words), tunes from DJ Cannonball (read: my good friend Trey and the 187th ranked DJ in the tri-state area), lots of gorgeous, never-before-seen jewels to try on, and you can meet The Necklace Whisperer herself. Check out the Witty + Pretty Facebook page to view the flyer and I hope to see you there getting pretty!

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post Jewelry Porn: Pieces From The Necklace Whisperer appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Chances are, you either just smiled fondly at the thought of (or looked down at) your very own, exaggeratedly rolled your eyes and/or gagged, or wondered WTF this thing is.

For you latter folks, I’ll let Wiki inform you: A push present (also known as a push gift, baby mama gift or baby bauble) is a present a father gives to the mother to mark the occasion of her giving birth to their child. In practice the present may be given before or after the birth, or even in the delivery room. The giving of push presents has supposedly grown in the United States in recent years. 

In other words: Give birth, get a gift (other than the baby).

See also: Rachel Zoe.

This whole push present discussion began in my circle when I posted this Facebook status:

That’s right. As I was waiting at a popular Buckhead lunch spot for the valet to bring around my 2003 Xterra they hid down the street, two ladies were walking to their shiny white SUVs parked in front when one lady motioned to her Mercedes G-class and announced to her friend, “So this was my push present,” followed by, “And this, too” as she flashed a sparkly right hand ring.

And that’s when I ran her over. In my head.

I asked my FB pals to weigh in…

…and that they did (sans dicktures). Comments ran the gamut:

“It’s not a Southern thing. I have a friend who gets Tiffany diamond stackable rings for each kid, another who gets Hermes jewelry. It’s ridiculous. And I have a strong and unpopular opinion that it’s just another way for needy women to get presents for doing something that women have been doing for thousands of years.”

“My push present was a bowl of queso. It was amazing.”

“I mean, if you get gifts for hosting parties, why not for hosting another human being in your body for nine months? Personally my husband bought me jewelry after both. Unexpected but very appreciated. He says it was a thank you for doing ‘that.’ He thinks men get a huge pass and the least they can do is say thanks officially.”

“It’s not a southern thing, it’s a rich people thing… have you ever heard of a push present that wasn’t jewelry or diamonds or cars, etc.? “Congratulations honey! I got you some base layer tank tops from The GAP”…”

“When I married my husband, that was my present; when I had kids, they were my presents. Push presents are stupid.”

“I don’t judge a woman that gets a push present. I only judge a woman that expects a push present.” (From a man)

“I did get a Rolex for ‘sorry you had to get cut open.’ I didn’t expect it but I was so touched my hubby had thought about it before. I plan on giving the watch to my daughter when she’s old enough.” 

“Mine was a LV purse and honey I deserved it! Push gifts are becoming more and more common to serve as a “thank you” for having gone through the entire pregnancy/delivery process. Push gifts range from diamonds and designer labels, to experiences like a vacation, to something sentimental like a bracelet engraved with your baby’s name.”

“I’m 0 for 2 on push presents. Pretty sure I’m supposed to consider the baby my present.”

“I think Push Presents are perfectly fine and people should buy according to what they can afford. After carrying a baby for nine months, pushing it out, then probably being it’s first go-to for the next 25 years….heck yea I should get a push present! People only think it’s bad because of the name. Just think of it as a first Mother’s Day gift.” 

“Definitely not a fan. Just another way to try to get people to equate love and pride with spending money.”

For the record, Beyonce reportedly did get one in the form of a blue sapphire ring:

And Snooki received a Pandora bracelet because apparently her husband mistook her giving birth for high school graduation.

It’s clearly a nation motherhood divided on this one. And it seems some mothers may not know exactly which side they’re on until they receive or don’t receive a post-birth gift. I definitely didn’t see any moms saying, “Yeah, he gave me a diamond ring, but I was like, ‘Honey take that back! Breastfeeding this child and not sleeping for the next 6+ months is the only gift I need.’”

I will say this; if I am ever going to GET FAT AND NOT DRINK FOR NINE MONTHS, I think I’m deserving of a trip (via private jet) to my own tropical island stocked with vodka, nachos, puppies, and Sam Smith live serenading me the entire time.

But no one ever said I was ready for motherhood.

Whether you love them, hate them, or aren’t sure yet, how about we implement these Five Golden Rules:

1. For the love of God, can we stop calling it a push present? I literally picture a Tiffany’s box being pushed out of a vagina. If a man wants to show his appreciation for his lady giving birth, can’t it simply be known as a gift from a thoughtful husband, just like he would send you flowers or take you out to dinner for landing a promotion at work? I think these gifts having a name at all is tacky.

Which brings me to…

2. If you’re bragging to your friends that you got a Mercedes and/or a 7-carat diamond and/or a Hermes diaper bag for a push present over lunch your lettuce plate, please punch yourself in the face.

3. Ladies, try not to expect them, and for the love of God, don’t compare them to your friends’. Every man and every family is different. You know there are ladies out there who get Bentleys and Birkins for giving birth and their husbands are total pieces of shit, while plenty of other moms are happily eating those bowls of celebratory queso with loving husbands and fathers by their sides. Mmmm, queso…

4. If you know a father-to-be who probably has no clue what a “post-birth gift” is all about, and you think his baby mama may be the type to want appreciate one, maybe slip him a hint and let him make the call. Or better yet, send him this blog.

5. Guys, if you’re going to do it, sentimental jewelry seems to be the way to go. Also queso.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to take my birth control with a glass of vodka.

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post What Real Women Really Think About ‘Push Presents’ appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

And I’m not talking about twerking (I think we’ve all done that a time or seven in front of our full-length mirrors).

No, I don’t mean Candy Crush either. (Gross.)

I’m talking about…THE CRONUT.

Now technically that word for the croissant-donut hybrid is trademarked by Dominique Ansel Bakery in NYC, but that hasn’t stopped bakeries across the country from creating their own versions. So Teodora of The Fashion Lush, Jessica of My Style Vita, and yours truly made a date to take our pastry-loving asses to Revolution Doughnuts on a Sunday morning in our Sunday (and sequin) best to try the bakery’s “cro-dough.” And we asked our amazing photographer friend Dylan York to tag along because that’s what true fashion bloggers like those two do on the reg (while I’m just sitting at home writing in sweatpants with coffee breath).

We ordered a cro-dough for each of us. (How much you want to bet other fashion bloggers would share one between them? Actually never mind, they’d probably never do this in the first place.)

We couldn’t wait to dig in. Pausing for even a second to take photos was pure torture.
And when they hit our lips…I heard angels sing (or maybe that was just the homeless person down the block).

It was the perfect marriage of flaky, moist (YES, I SAID IT), and decadent icing. Icing that immediately turned into lip gloss glaze. (Wait, should I invent that?)

Unlike like most things I’d consume in sequins on a Sunday, it didn’t have alcohol in it, but it was still worth a cheers.

What…a #BrunetteBreakfastClub.

And because we were having so much fun (read: are actually just total fat kids), we decided to order some doughnuts. (Seriously, who does that?)

But we made the right decision. That coconut creation is one of the best baked goods (if not THE BEST), I’ve ever had.

Mission Fat Ass Cronut: Complete.

I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to tell you what I’m wearing. My cro-dough eating ensemble is: Sanctuary ‘Grease’ leggings (I got them from Meringue, but you can snag ’em on Nordstrom.com), Club Monaco sequin top from last winter, white leather Line & Dot jacket from Bridge Boutique this summer, and Cole Haan pumps. You may recognize my Bella Bag Prada in the first photo, and my wild mani is from (where else but) Buff nail bar.

Check out the other girls’ cronut coverage (and what they’re wearing!) at My Style Vita and The Fashion Lush. And happy drooling…

LYLAS,
Ashley

Special thanks to Dylan York, an all-around badass photographer with exceptionally special talents for shooting events and nightlife, hot hipster girls, and obviously…breakfast pastries.

The post Three Girls, One Pastry appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Whilst owner Cassandra assisted me in selecting the perfect travel tote, I began to realize her freakish knowledge of every single bag in the showroom. So I was like, “Hey girl, let’s play a game.” (Plus, when I actually wash my hair/put makeup on/get dressed, I like to linger in public places as long as possible.)

And…this happened.

Luckily, she didn’t keep them all, so there are still hundreds of gorgeous, designer arm candies seriously discounted for you to take home for the holidays (more on Bella Bag’s amazing spiel here).

And here’s the lowdown on the upcoming SALES:
1. Use code WP100 online at checkout or mention Witty + Pretty if you’re shopping at the showroom for $100 off (if you spend $500 or more).
2. On Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday, there will be major tiered discounts on more than 100 bags and you can use the WP code on top of them!
3: If you think you can name more bags than Cassandra (you can’t), comment or message me and we’ll set up a Designer Handbag Challenge for you. If you win (you won’t), she’ll give you a Chanel flap bag (!?!?!) from the showroom. Best of luck!

Oh, and if you want to know which bag I chose to foster this week, find me on Instagram @AshHess for the elusive (and douchey) #LouisVuittonSelfie….

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post Presenting: The Designer Handbag Challenge appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Behold these manicures from Buff Nail Bar perfect for ringing in 2014. (PS, how the f*ck is it 2014?)

Fab Foil
Newsflash: Foil isn’t just for your Christmas dinner leftovers. I love how every finger looks different and awesome. ($45 at Buff or $2.50 per nail)

The Party V
The Deep V mani is badass by itself, but do it with black, white, and gold and it’s basically the honey badger of nails. ($45 at Buff)

Gold Garland
Remember this gel + glitter amazingness? If you’re wearing a black dress, mix it up with bright colors and BAM! You’ll out-sparkle the disco ball. ($45 at Buff)

The OMFG
I die. Gold foil with crystal accents FOR. THE. WIN. ($45 at Buff or $2.50 per nail)

And saving the best for last…

Shine Bright Like a Diamond
Swarovski crystals are applied on every nail then coated in gel. I mean, WHAT. Get these if you want to look rich (or are actually rich). ($125 at Buff)

Now all you need is a bottle (or six) of bubbly.

Cheers to the new year!

LYLAS,
Ashley

*FYI, Buff does a “mani of the month” where speciality manicures like the ones above are $35 instead of $45. Get you some.

The post Behold: The Best New Year’s Eve Nails appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

There was one really strong moment of the premiere and I’ll get to that, but first, let me recap the momentous first episode of this future Emmy winner.

First of all, the show is all losers cast-offs from The Bachelor and Bachelorette. Each week, contestants get date cards and they pick people to take on FANTASY DATES. Then there is a rose ceremony where either the ladies or dudes pick significant others (it alternates each week I’m guessing) and the leftovers go home. The point is to find love find someone who likes having sex with you so they will keep you around. I don’t know if there is prize money or if the only reason these people want to stay is so they can be in Mexico, in which case, I guess they didn’t realize they could have booked a trip to Mexico by themselves and saved the public humiliation of ABC turning them into desperate crazies. But whatever. Maybe they’re getting paid per episode. Maybe they like the airtime because they are actually all desperate crazies. Who knows.

All you need to know from last night is that there is a “free spirit” (read: easy lay) named Lacy with huge tan tits, so all the guys think she is beautiful. You don’t know her because she literally went home the first night of Juan Pablo’s season, which is shocking because he seems like the kind of guy who would go for huge tan tits. Maybe she got them after the show. Again, WHO KNOWS. So she makes out with this guy Robert, who I can’t believe I don’t remember from Des’ season because he’s super hot…
…but MARCUS (yes, from Andi’s season) beats Hottie McHotterson to the punch at the rose ceremony, gives Lacy the rose, she takes it, and…SPOILER ALERT…now they’re engaged! You pissed? Sorry, but this isn’t The Bachelor/Bachelorette and you should not give a shit that I just told you that meaningless piece of information.

Also, at one point, Robert says Lacy is “smart” and I also spit out my ice cream (YEAH I EAT ICE CREAM AND WATCH TERRIBLE TV ON MONDAYS, SO SUE ME). Then he called her a “good girl” and I actually choked. I bet he regrets those sentiments now.

Here’s a fun PicStitch I did that sums up Lacy.

Sarah (from Sean’s season) is there, and I think she’s so sweet and cool and needs to stop doing these dumb shows. At one point, her half-arm was blowing in the coastal breeze and it made me feel weird. Not in an “Ew gross” way, but in a “I wonder what that feels like” way. I digress. She likes Marcus but apparently he likes ladies with fake body parts, so maybe if she had a prosthetic, things would work out. Sarah, say sayonara to ABC, work on your blog, and find a dude with some depth who doesn’t give a shit about reality TV. Thank me later.

AshLee (officially the dumbest spelling/capitalization of my name I’ve ever seen) from Sean’s season is still beautiful, but even CRAZIER than we thought before, further establishing the validity of the hot-crazy matrix, where she definitely falls in the ‘restraining order zone.’ She says she stalked Graham on social media and only went on the show because she heard he was going to be there. She gets mad at him on day 2, cries in the bathroom, refuses to talk to him, then tells him she thought they “were going to ride off into the sunset together”……on day 3. Also at one point, she says, “I’m the only normal person here besides him.” I choked again. This show is a health risk. But apparently they made up because she is hot, and he gave her the rose. Love will find a way.

Also, all the girls wore Steve Madden wedges and the guys wore capri pants because fashion.

Some chick Elise from some season (who knows, who cares) admitted to falling in love with Dylan (from Andi’s season) at first sight, even though he had massive pit stains when they met. All I could think when Dylan greeted anyone was that he had just taken a shit and not washed his hands.

Michelle Money shows up mid-show with a date card (clearly not fair, but NO ONE fucks with the Bachelor’s bad bitch and Chris Harrison’s fave) and takes Marquel out. I loved ever second of it, came up with their couple name (#Marchelle, duh), and hope they get married and have beautiful mixed babies. Also on their date, they rode horses, and during the rose ceremony, Michelle looked like she had a permed horse tail on her head. Coincidence, I guess.

The other Michelle (creepy weirdo from Jake’s season) removed herself (why was she even on the show?) before roses started flying, and Daniella (Sean’s season) went home because she has low boobs and an even lower IQ. Or in her words from the show, “Maybe I’m just in delusional.”

And then there’s Crazy Clare. She’s still the same 33-year-old Taylor Swift, but doesn’t seem AS terrible on this show thanks to AshLee’s batshit-ness and Lacy’s sluttiness. She had drama (if you didn’t watch, it’s not really important), but ABC edited this gem of a scene together, fully restoring our faith in them so that we may continue to watch their bullshit shows.

I probably won’t be doing any more full-length recaps of this disaster, but if I continue to watch it (who am I kidding, I will), I’ll be snarking over on The Twitter @AshHess.

See you in paradise,
AshHess

*Top image and first image from hollywoodlife.com

The post Bachelor in Paradise: A Recap + Video of the Best 60 Seconds appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

I watched this interview and Miley (real name: Destiny Hope Cyrus) fidgeted with the over-blouse brassiere constantly, which probably means that as her high wore off, she was like, “What the f*ck am I wearing?”

But it was too late then. She had to perform, dangling bra and all.
As for the shoes, I got a similar style when I sprained my foot last year, but to get THIS specific look, you have to request the Herman Munster special and it costs extra.

You guys, Miley Cyrus is one of the biggest stars in the world right now (literally, her album is topping charts in like, 70 countries), and I honestly wish I could be like, “You know, she knows exactly what she’s doing, and she’s in on the joke, and she actually seems like an intelligent, charming, and cool chick.”

But that’s not the case. She really does suck. She actually might be the least charming person I’ve ever seen in an interview (here’s proof). And her teeth give me night terrors.

I know the more we talk about her, the more famous she gets, but I can’t help it this time. You go on national TV looking like you just came from a frat house where you stole the dude’s shirt and Halloween costume shoes, then used his semen to style your hair and put your bra around your neck like a lanyard and I can’t stop.

And I won’t stop.

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post Officially the Dumbest Thing a Celebrity Has Ever Worn appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

1. Deborah Lippmann “Shape of My Heart” Nail Color ($17): You’ll nail it thanks to this perfect pink (named after an amazing boy band jam). The Shape of My Heart nail color is a collaborative effort between Deborah Lippmann and Shape magazine to raise awareness for those affected by breast cancer; 10 percent of the proceeds benefit the Hoag Memorial Hospital in Newport Beach, CA.

2. Too Faced Love Debbie Lip Gloss ($16): Inspired by Too Faced co-founders’ Jerrod Blandino and Jeremy Johnson’s brave stepmother Debbi, who is currently battling breast cancer, 20 percent of the sales from this shiny pink gloss (with subtle strawberry scent and sunflower seed oil for mouth moisturizing) helps raise funds for mammogram screening services for patients in need.

3. Smashbox BCA Photo Finish Foundation Primer ($36): For a flawless face ready for makeup application, this primer is magical (and it reduces the appearance of fine lines and pores). This month, $5 from your purchase goes to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

4. EOS Breast Cancer Awareness Two-Pack ($6.50): You know how obsessed I am with EOS and specifically, the lip balm. Keep your kisser soft and smooth with the limited edition Fresh Watermelon and Strawberry Sorbet spheres, and a portion of proceeds will benefit breast cancer research. You should be able to find this at Target, along with this fab set of balm AND hand lotion.

5. e.l.f. HD blush in Headliner ($3): This soft, creamy, highly-pigmented blush is not only ridiculously cheap (remember my e.l.f. outburst?), but 100 PERCENT of its profits this month are going to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. That means every last penny (all 300 of ’em).

6. Julep Edith Nail Color ($14): Because you can never have too many perfect pink polishes, snag this “cherry blossom pink crème with holographic glitter” and know that a portion of the proceeds are going to organizations that support women through Julep’s Powered by Girlfriends program.

Julep also collaborated with the Edith Sanford Breast Cancer Foundation on the infographic below that lays out breast cancer by numbers. The statistics are staggering, but it’s important to be aware and educated.

Ugh, they had to go and say “drink less.” But wait, maybe pink drinks are ok…?

Anyway, happy product shopping, everyone, and stay aware (and supportive) of the cause this month and every month!

LYLAS,
Ashley

*(Most of) this article was originally published on the Pretty In My Pocket blog. 

The post PRIMPin’ Pink Products That Give Back This Month appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

1. NARS Eye Paint ($25): NARS is famous for its beautifully pigmented makeup, and these eye paints are no exception. The gel colors are well saturated and can be used as liners or all over the lid color. For a dramatic eye on a wild night out or for the perfect face design for your Halloween makeup, they’re downright marvelous and come in ten different shades (my personal faves are Ubangi, Tatar, and Interstellar).

2. MAC Fix + ($21): While dressing up in costume is a blast, looking in the mirror mid-party and realizing your mug is melting off is NOT. Prevent this disaster with MAC Fix+ setting spray. Simply spritz your face (usually 2-3 times or until you’re fully covered) before or after you apply your makeup. It not only sets and finishes your makeup, but this miracle concoction is infused with a calming blend of green tea, chamomile, and cucumber so it gives your skin an extra energy and hydration boost. I’ve had this spray for more than three months and am just now halfway through. It’s definitely one of those products you look at and think hmmm not worth it…but honey, Evian Mist Spray has nothing on this bad boy. Try it and you’ll realize once you go MAC, you’ll never go back.

3. Wet n’ Wild Fergie Crème Lipstick ($3.50): I know you’re totally still bitter Fergie Ferg stole your lifelong crush, Josh Duhamel, but you’ll get over it once you try her G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S (and C-H-E-A-P) line of lipsticks and fall in love. They can be a bit drying so apply a lip balm before swiping one on, but the color, quality of the different shades, and the price (obvi) makes this drugstore find a hands down winner. For an easy-yet-dramatic punch to your Halloween look, opt for the black shade, Pagan Angel (perfect for a jungle cat or gothic look), or the rich plum shade, Ferguson Crest Cabernet (for a vampy look).

And while we’re on the topic, have you picked out your Halloween costume yet? Head over to the PRIMP blog and download the app to get inspired by our costume picks and beauty looks throughout October (ahem, Great Gatsby and Katy Perry FTW). And I know Ashley’s just dying to be THIS…

PRIMPin’ ain’t easy (but we’re here to help),
Hayden

The post PRIMPin’ Products of the Week: Halloween Makeup appeared first on Witty + Pretty.