I’ve gotten a lot of feedback from people saying DailyCandy “was the only email I ever opened” and it helped them decide where to brunch, which wedding photographer to hire, where to get the best spray tan/bikini wax/blowout, find the best sample sales, and plan their weekend with the beloved Weekend Guide. With this city insider being gone, I feel it’s my civic duty to try to make up for it in some way. I’m not trying to be what DailyCandy was (I doubt they ever published a full article on stupid selfies), but just offering some of my favorite things in the city and cool events/happenings with a healthy dose of funny (hopefully). I’m planning to do this once a week and see how it goes and am open to feedback, of course. You will be able to find all this Atlanta-specific content on the Atlanta tab at the top of the site.

So here is…The A List by Witty + Pretty.

OPEN AND AWESOME
Sweet Peach Buckhead Beach/bikini season is almost here, and you know what that means. The guys are putting in two-a-days at the gym, chugging protein shakes, and working on their mirror selfie game, while the ladies are taking expensive fitness classes and eating Whole Foods out of house and kale. But your 6-pack and toned delts (what are delts?) don’t matter if you’re a hairy beast. Sweet Peach Wax & Sugaring Studio is seriously THE BEST in Atlanta for hair removal, and the new location in Buckhead is a beaut:

I get the sugaring treatment below the belt (everything you need to know about sugaring here), and I love the body scrubs that make your skin feel soft as Blue Ivy’s booty. But Sweet Peach treats many a fella, too. Guys, listen to me: Chest hair is one thing (I’m down with it), but a full-blown Yeti on your back is quite another. Unless you have a lady that likes to run her fingers through your back hair (newsflash: you don’t), take care of that shit. And they manscape, too (remember Trey’s special body wax?). Lastly, mention Witty + Pretty for $10 off at the Buckhead location only through May 31.

Flip Burger Boutique Poncey-Highlands Patio Good Lord, we’ve been eyeing this rooftop patio for what, 17 years now? Ok, I’m exaggerating. But still–that thing has been the neighborhood’s biggest tease forever, even when it was a gourmet hot dog restaurant (that worked well). But it’s finally open so you can go  scarf a chorizo burger and suck down a Nutella milkshake (or just vodka) whilst overlooking Highland Avenue and maybe even a little corner of that halfway house on Ponce.

Photo by 360 Media

FUN NEWS OF THE WEEK
Our mayor is having a shotgun wedding. That’s right, good ol’ Kasim Reed knocked his lady up and now he’s proposing in order to set a good example for Atlanta’s youth. Kasim stated, “I could not feel more blessed that she agreed to marry me,” because he has not yet gotten the memo that you have to say “hashtag blessed.” I wonder if his now-fiance bought him that Lacoste jacket he paraded all over town during Snowpocalypse Part 1 in an attempt to look like he was out in the catastrophic trenches instead of just doing TV interviews while people were having babies in their cars and taking dumps on the side of the road.
But I digress. Happy engagement, you two.

EVENTS AND SUCH
BeltLine Boil: This inaugural event on Saturday and Sunday involves Low Country boil, lots of alcohol (hello, Bloody Mary bar!?), awesome live music, and it’s taking place at the Fourth Ward Skate Park which is literally my back yard. Best event ever? YUP. Am I out of town. YUP. FML, go have fun without me (although I will be at the beach, #humblebrag). I’ll leave a key if you want to use my bathroom put away my laundry.

30 Artists in 30 Days: So, all month long, 30 badass artists have been creating pieces LIVE in Sam Flax for anyone to come see. This Saturday night, their works will go up for auction at a super-cool event to benefit One Love Generation, an incredible nonprofit that empowers youth to inspire positive change through art, service, and awareness. I’ve seen some of the pieces and they are amazing. Go get one so you can replace that IKEA framer above your couch.

John Caparulo: This guy is a regular on the Chelsea Lately roundtable and he looks like he doesn’t bathe much and eats chicken wings for every meal. In other words: A great comedian. Go see him and his cartoonish voice at The Atlanta Improv this weekend.

SOCIAL MEDIA STUNNA’
This week’s winner for the best social media goes to my friend Jay Winter AKA TJ Maxx AKA Mayor of Ponce AKA Freddie Prinze Jr. (What happened to that guy anyway?) This adventurous fella’ trekked up to Cobb County midday Tuesday for a “Braves County” bar crawl and kept us all entertained on Facebook while we wondered, Does that guy ever work? He fell in love at Hooters, went to Applebee’s, got wine drunk at Olive Garden, and more. Lucky for us, he recapped the entire experience. Chop chop, y’all.

Until next week…

LYLAS,
Hess (as my Atlantans know me)

The post Introducing: The A List appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

WHAT UP WEST EGG
Did you guys know West Egg (one of the best breakfast/brunch spots in all the land) serves chicken and waffles on Friday nights? I mean, WHAT? If that isn’t an amazing Southern date night (or eat alone in the corner with your iPhone night), I don’t know what is. Each month they have a new selection and this month is a doozy:
Basically, it’s chicken, waffles, and the beach in your mouth, which is a certified oral orgasm. Wait…

BUT I bring up West Egg in the first place because it’s their 10-year anniversary, and all month, they are collecting donations to raise $10K for the Atlanta Community Food Bank. You donate and they’ll match each dollar until they reach the goal (details here). Feed yourself, feed others, feel good.

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DUMBEST INSTAGRAM OF THE WEEK I saw this idiotic meme on the ol’ Insta yesterday and it stopped me dead in my scroll.

What……does that even mean? And is this supposed to be a play off the (in)famous Marilyn Monroe quote trashy girls put on their MySpaces? You know the one.

Anyway. Dudes, if you post this, it’s a good thing you are hitting the gym because your brain and/or personality isn’t landing you any chicks.

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HELLO, WEEKEND
Andrew Santino: This hilarious ginger who you may recognize from ABC’s Mixology, Punk’d, The Office, and more is performing at the Atlanta Improv all weekend and my friend Neal Reddy is opening for him.

I mean, when else are a frighteningly bearded brown person and an acceptably bearded redhead going to entertain you on the same night (besides when you’re watching Homeland)? I will be at the Friday 8 p.m. show laughing my ass off, and if you approach me and mention Witty + Pretty, I will buy you a drink or give you an awkward side hug. Take your chances.

AND GET THIS! Use coupon code ‘Eskimo’ for the show and get FREE tickets. Seriously. Free. AND that promo code lasts through April 30 and is good for $20 off ALL shows excluding Doug Stanhope on the 16^th and 17^th. I know it seems too good to be true, but like the last creepy guy who tried to hook up with you said, “Just let it happen.”

Yum Yum Dessert Co: Put on your stretchy pants, because a new diet ruiner is coming to town. Remember the hot pink Yum Yum Cupcake truck? Well now they have a full-on storefront with sundaes, pastries, macarons, ice cream sandwiches, fancy espresso drinks, and more. Doors will open at 9:30 a.m. on Friday, April 11, and grand opening activities include dessert samplings, takeaways, and complimentary mini cupcakes for the first 100 customers. Which we all know is just an appetizer for this:

Fashion Blogger Pop-Up Shop: Ever want to shop in fashion bloggers’ closets? DUH. Y’all know how I feel about fashion bloggers and their majestical talents. Well this Saturday, some of Atlanta’s best are actually selling amazingness from their personal collections! Insider info: Vintage gems from Tia of The Fashion Lush (we’re talking Chanel pants, Lanvin scarf, etc.) and some of My Style Vita Jessica’s statement jewelry and handbags. AND you get free cocktails AND desserts from Yum Yum Dessert Co. (and we just came full circle). Also, proceeds benefit Dress For Success. Get on this, gals.

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OUR CRAZY NEIGHBOR
Why is every ridiculous news story out of Florida? You could read me a headline (“Man Has Sex With Goat for Meth”, “Woman Gets DUI with 16 Parakeets in the Trunk of Her Toyota Tercel”) and I would immediately know it was in Florida.

This week, a woman trashed a McDonald’s like an ’80s rock band in a HoJo wearing nothing but a thong…and she paused only in her path of destruction to guzzle ice cream straight from the machine.
Then apparently, she concluded the rampage with a fry feast in the kitchen, so I think we all know, bipolar or not, she has her priorities in order.

In other Florida news, a man burned down his apartment trying to clear it of bug infestation. Turns out, the place was a dirty shit hole filled with trash and beer cans everywhere (hence the bugs). You think he’ll get his security deposit back?

Lastly, a “high-ranking Hialeah official” got caught with his pants down…and a meth pipe in his b-hole.

Thank you Florida for always making Georgia look good.

Until next week, friends (and if you actually dig this, feel free to share, FB, Tweet, Snapchat, Friendster it and show the city some love!)…

LYLAS,
Hess

The post The A List, April 10: Redhead Comedy, Dumb Instagrams, and Florida’s Finest appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Before we jump into the weekend agenda, let’s take a look at the…

SELFIE OF THE WEEK (or CENTURY)

Mic. Fucking. Drop.

That’s right, Joe and his dazzling shit-eating grin (I love it, though) are on Instagram and his handle is @VP like a BOSS. I also like how he signed it (such an old person move).

And now the freaking weekend…

HORSES AND ALCOHOL
Steeplechase is this Saturday. It’s a horse race (I think). The last time I went to a horse race was in college and someone threw up (it may have been me). I will be there this weekend in a fancy schmancy “picnic box” courtesy of Celebrity Cruises drinking mimosas and acting like Beyonce at Coachella, so message me if you attend and we’ll go cheer on Seabiscuit together (he’ll be there, right?). Also, if you’re going, get a Fur Bus instead of a DUI.

I hope there’s food in the picnic box.

HOT PEOPLE YOU CAN DATE
If you don’t get trampled/roofied at the horse race, make it to this doozy on Saturday night. It’s a launch for a website called Iceman Sports (I’m assuming that’s the male version of Witty + Pretty with less selfies) as well as a date auction slash Cystic Fibrosis fundraiser. That means if you can’t get a hot ass Buckhead lady or gent to go out with you for free, now you can purchase them with your black Amex red Visa and they will be forced to spend an evening with you. Not only do you get the person (this is starting to sound like the charity version of Taken), but they come with a rad date, too, like skydiving or swinging. What?

Two of my hot, blonde, local celebrity friends Nikky and Emily are up for auction as well as brunette beauty Kelly Chase; plus Atlanta’s most eligible bachelor Fred Smith will be in attendance (although not up for auction, so you can hit on him even if you’re broke). I am also attending and not up for auction, but I will take donations in vodka.

Fellas, here’s your future wife (and my life partner in crime) Nikky:

EASTER BRUNCHEaster is a great excuse to praise Jesus (or celebrate 4.20) then go eat and drink the house down. Here are ten places doing delicious munchies brunches for your inner fat kids:
Saltyard (bottomless dranks, y’all)
Parish (best sausage in town + egg hunt at noon)
TWO Urban Licks (bocce + eggs hunts at 11 a.m. and 1 p.m.)
South City Kitchen (Midtown and Vinings for you OTP folk)
Cakes & Ale (never not amazing)
Local Three (walk-the-kitchen buffet and roll out of there)
St. Cecilia (ricotta pancakes with strawberries #InYoBelly)
BLT Steak (crepes prepared tableside for the win)
Sun In My Belly (I love this place so hard and not just because it’s BYOB)
Folk Art (don’t click on these s’mores pancakes)

Who’s hungry now? In the meantime, get a load of this scholar:

DUMB PERSON/CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE WEEK

God, I love that chick next to him. “Uh, can I solve?!”

Also…Wheel of Fortune is still on? How much Botox has Pat Sajak had? Is he still getting wasted? And where is Vana?

But does anyone think this might be a genius staged stunt to get people talking about Wheel of Fortune since no one has talked about the show in a decade? Hmmm….

Mull that over and I’ll see you by the cocktails this weekend.

LYLAS,
Ashley

*
Featured image from Sublime Doughnuts

The post The A List: Easter Brunch + the SELFIE OF THE CENTURY appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Here’s the plan…

GET LOCO
Stache Dash
This 5K is hands-down the wildest fiesta of a fun run since the Alamo. What? Show off your mustache (real or faux), wear something stupid, and run/stumble/cha-cha-slide/Macarena across the finish line. It starts and ends with partying at Tin Lizzy’s Buckhead, which may or may not include world-famous DJs, dance-offs, prizes, a Tom Selleck lookalike contest, a quinceañera, Ricky Martin karaoke, wet poncho contest, midget mariachi band, and a sombrero toss. The best part: 100% of proceeds go the One Love Generation, a non-profit organization that empowers youth to inspire positive local change through art, service, and awareness.

The OTHER best part: Use promo code GUAC (awww si) to get $5 off the $30 registration fee.

But the BEST BEST part: Selfies are not only allowed, they’re encouraged! But being a bandit is not. Or rather, bandito.

Zocalo Guacamole Festival Guacamole festival might be the best two words I have ever seen put together in my life. Tomorrow, May 1, through May 18, the Midtown restaurant is serving FIVE different variations of the green goodness from different regions. Think Yucatan guacamole featuring flavors from the Yucatan peninsula including shrimp ceviche, spicy salsa habanero, salsa fresca, and orange, and the Baja guacamole made with kiwi, jicama, strawberry, mango, mint, and chile arbole.

These are all prepared tableside (#ballin’) in one of those rock bowl things (official name), plus specialty cocktails include a kiwi margarita and spiked agua fresca. Cheers to THAT.

El Taco 
Go for the food (salsa bar, anyone?), but stay for the $4 pineapple-infused tequila shots (my favorite shot besides Fireball), $12 Dos Equis buckets, and $12 22-ounce El Jimador house margaritas. One of them gives you a nice buzz; two of them will have you drunk texting your ex (I would know). Speaking of last year, we received giveaways like T-shirts and piñata figurines whilst celebrating the holiday at the ol’ El Tac. Maybe this is standard practice, or the bartender (also a dolphin trainer, go figure) was just flirting with us, but either way, expect to leave with something (it may not be your dignity). El Taco’s shenanigans are happening Saturday through Monday.

– AWKWARD VIDEO OF THE WEEKWatch until the end as this mariachi band performs at a wedding…

…and these mother fockers don’t even clap!? In fact, they get silent! HOW DO YOU NOT CLAP FOR A MARIACHI BAND? It’s like, the happiest type of band that has ever existed. I hear the word mariachi band and I want to yell OLE! If the bride and groom were in that crowd, I wish them a lifetime of misery without guac and margaritas and bad sex. Assholes.

This is how it should be:

BEST MARGARITAS IN ATLANTA
I posed the question to my social media outlets and the answers started FLOWING (get it?). Based on my personal experience and suggestions by a slew of alcoholics Atlantans, here are the ten places for the best and/or strongest ‘ritas in the city:

Nuevo Laredo (Westside): One Cadillac on an empty stomach while you’re waiting for your table = highway to the Danger Zone. Get the Grand Marnier floater if you’re a BOSS.

Georgia Grille (Buckhead): Apparently you need to get the bartender named Booty to make them. I’m just the messenger.

El Myr (Little Five): Where hipsters get white girl wasted. Also there’s a Mexican Car Bomb for $3 (7 oz. Corona topped with tequila).

Zocalo (Midtown): When you’re in the heart of the gayborhood, you better be serving stiff drinks.

Agave (Grant Park): This joint (pictured at left) is consistently voted best in the city by every magazine and all the margs are made with fresh-squeezed lime juice (at least they WERE until the Mexican drug cartel started being dicks).

Holy Taco (East Atlanta): The organic margs are killer, and they have $15 pitchers on Mondays. Because you always need an excuse to get hammered on Mondays.

Mezcalito’s (Oakhurst, Grant Park): They have a little something called the Devil’s Water. So when you end up naked on top of your neighbor’s Honda Prelude wearing a Mexican flag thong and covered in queso, you can literally say, “The devil made me do it.”

Tin Lizzy’s (All over ITP + Perimeter): Get the Fall Off the House with High Octane tequila (sounds dangerous) or my personal favorite, the Beach House coconut margarita. Betcha’ can’t have just one six.

Across the Street (Old Fourth Ward): Since Pozole closed (their jalapeno margs were my fave), Across the Street is a go-to for its spicy ‘rita.

Pure Taqueria (Inman Park): The bartenders don’t play around here. I recommend the Texas or Michele (Grand Marnier floater for the win). Pure also serves a “shorty,” which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Who wants a shot of margarita? No one.

Pancho’s (Buford Highway): Home of the MONSTER MARGARITA. I have never left Pancho’s sober.

Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone, and please drink responsibly (which means at least wearing a sombrero).

LYLAS,
Hess

Stache Dash photos (top 2) by ATL Nightlife

The post The A List: Get Loco for Cinco + Best Margaritas in Atlanta appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Anyway, lots of fun stuff happening in the ol’ ATL, starting tonight with a comedy show, which is good if you like to laugh.

Here’s the dealio (who says dealio?):

TJ MILLER
You may know this comedian from Chelsea Lately, movies like Get Him to the Greek and She’s Out of My League, and the new HBO show Silicon Valley. He’s absolutely hilarious and I’m weirdly attracted to him and his sloppy hair.

Here’s one of my favorite bits about his license photo:

And while we’re talking sexy license pictures, I thought I’d share one of Atlanta’s hottest bachelor, our very own male contributor Trey.(Obviously that pic is from a few years ago before I knew what manicures were.)

And fellow writer/overall studly stud, the Mayor of Ponce:

The button says “I’d kill for chocolate.” Obviously.

And how about the time a friend told me I wasn’t allowed to smile in my license photo (asshole), and I ended up looking like this hoop-wearing wangsta’ chick:

And last but certainly not least…the one and only hot-as-balls Joel Darby…

Well now that everyone has a boner.  I’ll be there tonight doing all the LOLOLOLing, so as always, if you’re in attendance, come find me and I’ll buy you a drink or give you an awkward side hug.

*A promo code was originally offered for this show but it was a snafu on the Improv’s end. If you tried to use it and it didn’t work, email me at ashley@witty.gilliansarah.com which show you’d like to attend and we’ll take care of it. Spots are limited.

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SHAKY KNEES FESTIVAL
This weekend is also one of the Atlanta’s finest music festivals, Shaky Knees (#FestSeasonIsTheBestSeason). It started last year with a bunch of badass bands and the lineup is even sicker this year: Alabama Shakes, The National, Modest Mouse, Cold War Kids, Portugal. The Man, Iron and Wine, and so many more. There are still tickets avail (3-day: $169), and if you’re going for only one day ($84), I recommend Sunday so you can shake your knees to Alabama Shakes. Now I want a shake. 
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KENDRA SCOTT: THE STORE
Remember this incredible jewelry from giveaway week? Well there is now a full-on STORE open at Shops Around Lenox packed with all the colorful stunners (hello, Mother’s Day gifts). And if you’re looking for something to do this evening, stop by for the grand opening from 6-9 p.m. and meet Kendra herself (prepare yourself; I hear she’s really pretty AND cool) whilst sipping complimentary cocktails. Also, 20% of proceeds benefit March of Dimes, and there may or may not be a gift with purchase (you’ll have to go and see, wink wink).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to my annual #TreatYoself bra fitting/shopping at Intimacy. Follow me on Instagram @AshHess for pics of pretty, pricey lingerie that will be safe for work. I think.

LYLAS,
Hess

The post The A List: Bad Drivers License Photos + a Bling Store appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

EAT YOUR FACE OFF
Smokebelly BBQ
This is the new down-home Southern joint in Buckhead from our dude-bestie Trey and the guys behind Tin Lizzy’s. The space is incredible (I especially like the bathroom sign), the drinks are stiff (and there are TWO bars), and the food is BEYOND (read: #ICantEven). I recommend the mini sausage corndogs, fried pickled okra, and smoked trout to start followed by a combo plate (smoked turkey + brisket is my fave) with mac ‘n’ cheese on the side (duh) and a cookie ice cream sandwich for dessert. The best part is that it’s all gluten- and calorie-free. I think.

They also have the best lawn/patio in town and it’s a great place to “nap” if you’ve had too many From the Vine cocktails (vodka watermelon deliciousness).
See you there, bishes!

Bar Meatball Did you know I’m obsessed with meatballs? Well now you do. I had been dying to try Bar Meatball and I finally got to eat the house down this week with my fellow ball-loving pal Kasey. Yes, we tried every single delicious ball and sauce on the menu (I especially loved the sausage and peppers) and basically made ball puns throughout the entire meal (it didn’t hurt that we were talking about dudes). I highly recommend this place. Oh, and they have cookie ice cream sammies, too.

STDs!
That’s save-the-dates, you weirdos. Next Thursday, June 12, is an ahhhhh-mazing Sip and Shop soiree at Bella Bag (remember our handbag challenges?). First of all, there will be free champagne (duh). Second of all, EVERYONE who attends gets a gift –- there will be gift cards up to $1,000 (!?), Chanel earrings, and so much more. Not to mention, you can shop the showroom with all the handbags (Chanel, Celine, Gucci, Prada, LV, Balenciage, etc.) at 30-70% off retail. I mean, need I say more? Didn’t think so.

Then, the next night……is the ATLANTA MOON RIDE! Friends, this is seriously one of my favorite things I’ve ever done in Atlanta. Here’s how it’s going down on Friday the 13^th: You’ll get to Park Tavern with your bike around 8 p.m. Have a few dranks, socialize, point and laugh at all our ridiculous friends in their stupid costumes. Then at 10 p.m., we set off with APD escorting us for a 6.5-mile bike ride through the city streets–Midtown, Little Five Points, Inman Park, etc. On the way, there will be DJ trucks so you can cruise with tunes, wild antics, and (most likely) Jello shots. After a fun and leisurely ride, we’ll end at Park Tavern where there will be a full-on DJ rave/dance party, and if you’re single, you will definitely meet your soulmate and ride off into the starry night. Oh, and 100% of the proceeds go to Bert’s Big Adventure, so you’ll be helping make dreams come true for terminally ill children. If you don’t have a bike, the Moon Ride has multiple rental partners AND they will even bring the bike to Park Tavern and pick it up for you (how baller is that?). It’s $30 to register and you can use promo code HESS for a few bucks off.

**Psst, TONIGHT is an indoor cycling ride at Flywheel Midtown at 7:30 p.m. to benefit the Moon Ride and there are still a few bikes open. It’s $15 (normally $25 a class!) and will be taught by the one-and-only Kelsey (remember her from #HotGuysOfHangout?). It’s going to be a blast and if you’re interested, email mollyp@bertsbigadventure.org. 

NEWS OF THE WEEKThe Atlanta airport AKA Hartsfield Latoya Jackson International AKA The Latoya AKA The HJ finally got free damn Wifi.

My pal @EmilyLFoley tweeted it best:

Happy weekend, ballers!

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post The A List: BBQ…Balls…Bags…and Bikes appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

The Painted Pin
Hold onto your balls, y’all; this place is incredible. If you’ve ever walked into Brooklyn Bowl and thought, Ok this is perfection and I want to live in here (like I did), your New York dreams have become a reality in Miami Circle. It’s a swanky (but not pretentious) bowling alley with live bands and DJs on the weekends, killer food, and one of the best drink menus I’ve seen this side of the equator. Moscow Mule slushie, WHAT? You can booze at the humongo wraparound bar, dine in a booth, lounge on comfy couches (I love lounging), bowl, play bocce, shuffleboard, or give skeeball a whirl on a vintage machine. And if you’re wondering if it’s stupidly expensive like Ten Pin Alley (what a disaster that was), it’s not: $25-$35 per hour per lane (up to six people per lane).It’s a foolproof date place, made for groups (duh, I’m having my #Forever31 birthday bash here), AND I especially love the bathrooms for their soulmate-meeting potential. You’ll see what I mean when you wash your hands. Because you should always wash your hands after you’ve been playing with balls.

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Bluemercury
Beauty junkies, get ready for a lady boner. The fast-growing, wildly popular luxury beauty store and spa is open in Buckhead and having a PAR-TAY this weekend (I’ll get to to that). The store part: Find brands like Laura Mercier, Bobbi Brown, Trish McEvoy, REN, Caudalie, Oribe, and 80+  more that have been hand-picked by owner Marla Malcolm Beck (who has a Harvard MBA, btw). Also, pick up Bluemercury’s exlusive skincare line, M-61, touted as the world’s first highly technical but natural cosmeceutical brand. Didn’t know cosmeceutical was a word? Me either, but it’s in the press release.

The spa part: It’s totally full service, offering oxygen facials (game changing), glycolic peels, waxing, and microdermabrasion. There are also makeup stations throughout the 1,724-square-foot space so you actually never have to leave.
As for Saturday’s grand opening soiree (10 a.m. – 8 p.m.): There will be cupcakes, makeovers, mini facials and treatments, AND the first 100 guests will get deluxe gift bags with products from NARS, Bumble and Bumble, etc. so get there early before you start day drinking.

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Bar Amalfi
We went here Saturday night after a charity gala where I drank approximately 80% of the venue’s wine, so my review might be a little skewed, but I think it was cool. This beachy bar all the cool kids are buzzing about is courtesy of Antico owner Gio and right next to the famed pizza place.
Photo courtesy of @GinaMarko on Instagram

You can sip the best of the best limoncello (as well as beer, wine, and liquor) on the loungey white couches (remember I love to lounge) and feel like you’re on the Amalfi coast (minus the actual coast). Since I was drunk when I was there, I consulted my friend Ellen who went this week to watch the World Cup (USA! USA!) and she loved it. Thanks, girl. I also hijacked your Instagram photo.
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BEST DATES IN ATLANTA

If you’re a master swiper on Tinder and going on dates all the time, you might want some fresh ideas in addition to those mentioned above. Our pal Trey put together an #EPIC list of Atlanta summer date ideas for you lovers to peruse, and here are some of my favorites:

Underground Atlanta and The Sundial:

Head down to Underground Atlanta (during daylight and carrying mace) and the two of you buy some fancy outfits. Then walk over to the Sundial for dinner and drinks in your new outfits. Remember to bring a camera (and a taser, the APD, and matching bulletproof vests).

Raft the Chattahoochee: Raft this sanitary river in one of those giant hamster ball things. Send me pictures and take antibiotics.

Fernbank Museum: They do martinis and IMAX and if you are smooth, you can steal a dinosaur bone and sell it on eBay and buy a Honda Prelude.

57^th Fighter Group Restaurant: Watch airplanes take off and explain why you can’t afford one.

Barcelona in Inman Park: Hit this place on Sunday afternoon and watch Ashley Hesseltine consume 15 bottles of wine and hit on all the bartenders. It will amuse your date and you might make it into her blog, which goes out to a trillion people.

Wait, what?

To read the rest of these idiotic amazing ideas, head on over to ASocialMess.com and sign up for their dumb newsletter so you can get Trey’s life advice and misspellings delivered to your inbox weekly (and also hear about fun parties).

I’m headed to Miami this weekend to party in the city where the heat is on will melt your skin off, so follow my Instagram @AshHess for #boats, #blessings, and #YOLOs.

LYLAS,
Hess

The post The A List: Summer Date Ideas + the Coolest New Place in the City appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

3) My tanning bed place just lowered its prices to $29 for monthly unlimited.

One of those is a lie. Check out the scoop on two new(ish) restaurants and what makes them so special + upcoming events (and discounted tix, duh).

Varuni Napoli
This authentic Neopolitan pizzeria has been open for a minute now, but I’m just recovering from the limoncello I drank there three weeks ago to write about it. Just kidding (kinda’). The owner Luca Varuni comes from Antico (street cred) and is a certified pizza genius. And SOME people (maybe myself included) are saying these pies are better than Antico (hey, I’m just the messenger…).

Here are Luca and me with his monster ovens:
He’s married; sorry ladies.

So you walk in, order your pie(s) and booze at the counter, then find a place to sit in the sleek spot (I like the big table in the back room). We had the Spacca Napoli and Porreca Piccante and they were both to-die-for.

I will be going back ASAP, because I didn’t get the arancini or cannoli, which I’m embarrassed to admit because it’s so unlike me. As for the limoncello, they make it in house and it is a DOOZY. Luca literally brought out another whole pizza with our shots because “we were going to need it.” He was right—they’re a citrusy kick to the face (in a good way), and the lime version is “twice as strong.” Great. These are $6 a shot and clearly a must-have after your pizza feast, but be careful…
Just trust me.

Bartaco
All hail the beachiest restaurant/bar in town! This Westside joint comes from the folks behind Barcelona (my second home) and they sure do know how to execute an atmosphere. Bartaco feels so coastal, you’ll walk out and expect to see the ocean (but you won’t because Atlanta is a jail landlocked city).

The margaritas are stiff and tasty, as is the glorious Port Chester Reviver (below, front), so order a few dranks…
…and small plates (dip the cheesy gordita balls in guac if you know what’s good for you)…

…and every taco on the menu…

…then sit back and soak up that #SaltLife (ish).

Yacht Rock Revival Who’s ready to get their face soft-rocked off? What? Our beloved smooth crooners Yacht Rock are once again sharing the stage with some of the originators of their most-played songs at the annual Yacht Rock Revival this Saturday.

This year is extra special because it’s taking place in Piedmont Park (not Park Tavern, the actual park), so you can sway gently close to the stage or park your arse on a grassy hill and take in the tunes. Get your tickets here and use promo code ‘hess’ to save $5 if you’re not a Rich Girl (or Boy).

Carly Aquilino
It’s a girl-meets-boy chuckle fest this weekend at the Atlanta Improv (remember where I “opened” for Ron White?).
Carly Aquilino (the ballsy neon-redhead from MTV’s Girl Code) will be joined by Pete Davidson from MTV’s Guy Code to talk about dating, sex, Plan B, gluten, camel toes, manscaping, world peace, periods, blue balls, and more. But don’t quote me on that. Bring your boyfriend, girlfriend, secretary, second cousin, Tinder date, personal trainer, or whoever, and yuk it up, fools.

Mad Decent Block Party (save-the-date)
Call your friend Molly, buy new booty shorts, and put some LED lights on your hula hoop because the Mad Decent Block Party is coming to town next Sunday. This music fest is one serious rager, and Atlanta’s lineup include Zeds Dead, Dillon Francis, Flosstradamus, DJ Snake (hello, #TURNDOWNFORWHAT?!), and more. Get your tickets here, and try not to get hospitalized.

Also, this:

Get turnt up, y’all.

LYLAS,
Ashley

Top photo credit

The post The A List: Limoncello, a Beachy Bar, and Rockin’ in the Park appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Bring Me Back Something French
Krog Street Market, Ponce City Market, Streets of Buckhead, 280 Elizabeth. I don’t know that we have the infrastructure to support all these new developments or enough people in this city to sustain 834239487234 new restaurants, but hey, it’s fun to get new shit! And I think The Luminary — one of the first restaurants to open in Krog Street — will last, because every morsel I put in my mouth when I dined at this French American brasserie was délicieux (translation: om nom).
I love the chef/owner Eli Kirshtein (former Top Chefer), and he did not disappoint, from the cheese curd gnocchi with foie gras sauce (I mean, stop it) to the crispy catfish balls to the honey crème brulee and some chocolate thing that blew my mind.

We sat at the bar where we also had a few (read: more than a few) of the best cocktail I’ve had in a while: The Secret Girlfriend, an orgasmic blend of tequila, ginger, and grapefruit because that’s what makes a wife act like a secret girlfriend and turns a secret girlfriend into a wife. I think. The space is cool—industrial, open, and comfortable, and I felt right at home at the bar (shocker). (Photo from Eater Atlanta)

Also open in Krog Street Market is Craft Izakaya, and I’ve heard the sushi is killer, the music is hip-hop clubby, the servers have no dress code (so prepare to see American Apparel’s entire fall collection), and the menu has pictures. YOLO.

And PS, Ladybird (BeltLine awesomeness) opens Monday! HOLD ME BACK.

–
#Flawless
OK LADIES. If you’ve seen me in person, you’ve most likely complimented my lashes. I’m not bragging, it’s the truth and it’s not like I grew these things myself (you can read all about them HERE). But I know they’re expensive, so White Salon and Spa is offering NEW prices so you can get your lovely lady lashes on for about 30% less than before.

Classic set: $235 2-week fill: $80 3-weeks fill: $90

4 weeks fill: $105

Volume set: $275 2 weeks fill: $95 3 weeks fill: $105

4 weeks fill: $125

If you still have sticker shock, I promise these are some of the lowest prices you’ll find for quality lashes and an expert lashetician (I just made that word up), and Traci at White is the best. ALSO, if you get a full set (the classic is great for most ladies) and book a refill, the refill will be half off, but it MUST be booked no later than three weeks from the date you got the full set. Get these and you can totally hashtag #IWokeUpLikeThis.

Next up is another thing y’all know I don’t shut up about: Sweet Peach sugaring. I can’t tell you how many of my friends I’ve gotten hooked on sugaring (because who doesn’t want silky smooth lady bits?), so if you haven’t tried it yet, now is the time! You can get a Brazilian sugaring for $35 (normally $45) at the Buckhead location through September 30. And at the Virginia-Highland location, body scrubs are $35 with Christina (normally $55) through October 15. If you’ve never indulged in a Sweet Peach body scrub, you are in for a TREAT, girlfran. Pick pineapple, brown sugar, or PUMPKIN OMG, and prepare for a decadent 45 minutes after which you will be so silky smooth you’ll text your boyfriend/husband/booty call “Get over here and feel me,” and he’ll rush to you and be like
You’re welcome.

–
Bring a U-Haul
So I’m out of town for a wedding this weekend and I’ll admit I’m having major FOMO with this doozy. Bobo Intriguing Objects (furnishings wholesaler to places like Restoration Hardware) is having its first-ever (and maybe even last) warehouse sale.

Incredible furniture, accessories, artwork, etc. will be LESS than the wholesale prices.

I’m sorry, I need a minute….

What, I’m not crying. Is it dusty in here to anyone else? Anyway, less than wholesale prices and you’ll see a lot of sample, one-off, less-than-perfect, and discontinued items. It’s cash and carry (read: no deliveries, so bring a damn truck) and final sale. Friday and Saturday, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Here’s all the info. If you tag me in an Instagram post, I will literally cut you. (Photos from Sweet Peach blog, which has a great post on the sale.)

–
Balls to the Wall
I also can’t believe I’m missing this, but it’s ok because I’ll just go to Bar Meatball when I get back and chow down until they roll my ass out of there. The first-ever Atlanta Meatball Festival (brought to you by the Taste of Atlanta folks so you know it’s legit) is this Sunday ($40 in advance, $45 at the door). Restaurants like No. 246, Cibo e Beve, One Flew South, Bhojanic, St. Cecilia, and more will be battling with their best balls out, and it all benefits Open Hand.
(No. 246 meatball)

There will also be beer, wine, and limoncello tastings (TWIST THE KNIFE DEEPER, WHY DON’T YOU), and live music. Again, tag me in a photo and die.

Have a great weekend, jerks.

LYLAS,
Ashley

I shouldn’t complain, I’ll be at the beach. Check out my duckface selfies in Kelvin filter and shameless cleavage pics on Instagram @AshHess.

The post The A List: New Restaurants, Beauty Specials, and Balls appeared first on Witty + Pretty.

Gusto! Wood Fire Grill (+ Flywheel)
So I have been wanting to write about Gusto! for a while now. My friend Nate opened this incredible fast-casual concept in the fall and I’ve probably eaten there 932749274 times (give or take). It’s a healthy option with fresh AF ingredients and proteins prepared on a wood fire grill (hence the name of the place). You order by choosing your style (greens, grains, bread, flatbread), your protein (chicken, portabella, shrimp), and your gusto (the deliciousness that goes atop your dish in flavor profiles like chipotle mango avocado, apple curry peanut, and sweet soy sriricha), then you get your majestic meal in like, two seconds flat. Which is perfect if you’re always hangry (like moi). 

My absolute favorite is the shrimp on greens with chipotle mango avocado gusto (I seriously crave it on the reg; the shrimp is so legit), but all the others I’ve tried have been to-die-for, too.
Gusto! also has mouthwatering froyo that tastes like ice cream FTW and GIANT HOMEMADE COOKIES I made Nate pose with for the 11th day of Bros Being Basic and I know he secretly loved it.

So yeah, eat here and thank me later. BUT IN ADDITION, Gusto! has partnered with my #1 bae, Flywheel Sports (y’all know about that love affair) in a February sweepstakes where you can win a $200 Gusto gift card + 10-pack of Flywheel classes (!!!!!). Total package value: $93749287492874 (give or take). Hop on that like the stationary bike next to a hot guy/girl.

See you at Gusto, lovers (I’ll be the one taking a shrimp bowl to the face) or sweating profusely at Flywheel burning off those gargantuan cookies.

Sorelle Boutique
I don’t know if any of you ladies remember when Meringue closed a few months ago, but I was distraught. It had been one of my absolute favorite boutiques in the city for years and the #1 place to drunk-shop/max out your credit card after a 3-hour brunch at Rosebud. When I heard that Sorelle opened in the same space in December, I was all, WHATEVER IT WILL NEVER COMPARE, but little did I know that former Meringue owner Nicole is still involved and is actually doing the buying right now. So joke’s on me, it’s basically the exact same store. Whoops. I popped in to grab an outfit for my Valentine’s TV segment and fell in love at first sight with the most perfect, flattering dress ever created (seriously, it was in the window and I swooned).

This shameless selfie is actually taken at Bella Bag (that Birkin tho…), but you get the point.

That dress was one of many I obsessed over and there were so many cute tops, perfect pants and jeans, jackets, accessories, etc. because again, it’s just like Meringue. Think brands like Amanda Uprichard (which is the red dress), Joie, Splendid, Ella Moss, and lots more killer designers coming in this spring. 

I highly recommend checking this boutique out (before or after your bottomless mimosas, whichever), AND as an extra incentive, you can mention Witty + Pretty for 10% off your purchase for the month of February. YAY SHOPPING.

Bamboo Juices
Hold onto your taste buds because I’m comin’ in hot with this one. Bamboo Juices are another of my recent obsessions and I cannot wait for everyone to gulp them down like red wine during a snowstorm (the only way to survive). These raw, organic, cold-pressed juices are so major for so many reasons. 1) They’re incredible for your health/bikini season goals (duh). They’re alkalizing, detoxifying, cleansing, bloat reducing, energizing, all that important ‘ing stuff. 2) They’re delicious. Seriously. I’ve tried about six different flavors and was a fan of every one especially the carrot coconut and lemon ginger. 3) Bamboo offers 1- and 3-day cleanses, which are great options if you need to cleanse, reduce bloat, and/or just need a little health kick/body reset (anything longer than that is silly, let’s be honest). 4) They deliver everywhere but FREE in Atlanta. WIN. 5) The bottles are glass and awesome and you can save them (I’ve been putting my smoothies in them and taking them to go when I’m in a rush (read: always).

But most importantly, we need to talk about the ALMOND MILKS. You guys, I cannot even express how delicious these magical elixers are.

Here’s what happened exactly 3.5 seconds after I put the coffee almond milk to my lips.
GONE GIRL. Then I promptly freaked out, made a claim on Instagram that it was better than sex (I’m still sticking by that), and had to restrain myself from drinking the other one on the spot and ordering 239479247 more. And get ready for me to blow your mind: I put it in my blender with a frozen banana and ohmygod. OHMYGOD.

So give these a whirl, and because I’m all about the deals: Enter discount code “witty” to receive a FREE juice or almond milk with your first order totaling $30 or more.

I hope I’ve enlightened you on shrimp, shopping, and orgasmic milk, and if you’re hitting all this stuff up, tag me on Instagram @AshHess so I can feel like I’m making a difference in this world.

LYLAS,
Ashley

The post The A-List: Healthy Obsessions + Fave New Boutique appeared first on Witty + Pretty.